Funny Shit My Roomate Says

Talking about the same gloves, and why he needs new ones for biking:
"No, the Llamas were not designed for aerodynamical functions"

The More You Know!

It is illegal to text the words "Kmart", "Dick Fart", "Flogging the Dolphin", and "Pussypounder" in Pakistan.
(Source)

Funny Shit My Roomate Says

Whilst discussing his gloves with Llamas knitted on them:

Jorge - "They're burning with Llama, ahaaaaa! .... Oh wait.... in spanish Llama and fire are the same word. But in english it does not work."
Me - "Why are Llama and fire the same word?"
Jorge - "I dont know man. Maybe because they wore the clothes made from Llama and they were as warm as fire"
*He laughs hysterically*
"Come on man that was a smart joke!"

Funny Shit My Roomate Says

Whilst discussing whether he would trust a robot barber to shave his face:
"If robots are there, its because they do things right. So I trust them.... That is my magnificent conclusion."

Jorge's Wise Words AKA Funny shit my roomate says.

Whilst peeling old sticky tack off a wall to use somewhere else:
"Recycling is the key.. to success... or something".

The More You Know!

Jaques Couteau fathered a child at the age of 70

The More You Know!

Shakespeare invented the words swagger, hobnob, and blanket.

The More You Know!

The XP in Windows XP doesn't actually stand for anything.

The More You Know!

In 2009, Time magazine voted the greatest threat to human civilization as: doplins with opposable thumbs.

The More You Know!

The Dancing Plague of 1518 was responsible for the deaths of dozens of villagers who danced themselves to death in Strasbourg France.

The More You Know!

In spanish Shrek. Donkey has a hillbilly mexican accent.

The More You Know!

The shortest serving US President was President Tony Balogna, who died one month into his first term, from a broken heart. After being shot in the chest with a cannon.

The More You Know!

A right whale's testicle can weight up to 500kg

The More You Know!

Henry Ford was an anti-semite and his middle name was "Queeferton"

The More You Know!

Pomegranates are not actually fruit. They are the unfertilized eggsacks, harvested from the nests of the Great Whooping Crane of Madagascar, by trained lemurs.

The More You Know!

The first drivers licences in the world were issued by the "Steamboiler Supervision Association" in Prussia.

Kyles Dunny's?

A man was applying for a job at a blacksmiths. The blacksmith asked him, "do you have any experience shoeing horses?". "No," the man replied "But I once told a donkey to fuck off."

The More You Know!

"Affenbrot" means monkeybread in German

The More You Know!

Ferdinand Magellan, the famous explorer, traversed the globe aboard a ship called the "HMS Spank-Danky"

The More You Know!

All domesticated cats are left handed. Leopards are ambidextrous.

The More You Know!

The spanish equivalent to the word "peck" translates to english as "to attack with the front of the beak"

The More You Know!

A group of cheetahs is called a "Coalition". A group of skunks is called a "Surfeit". A group of pudgy polish children is called a "Wunderthump"

The More You Know!

Grants middle name is "Jeffrey"

The More You Know!

The greek equivalent of "who gives a shit" is "there's trouble in the gypsy village"

Some things never change....

2009

2011

Born for the catwalk!

Game of the Week

I thought I would give everyone a challenge, If you are bored and have a few minutes to spare please have a look at this game. it is called QWOP and can be played here http://www.allfreegames.eu/free-online-games-play-QWOP-15645.html post your best track record and may the best player win?!

I was hoping this could be a weekly series we could do.

Bentons Night Out

Please bear in mind that this story occurred a while back and as I have never truly posted anything on the blog I thought it is high time I should.

The night started as any other Saturday night does. People gather at our apartment and we start to enjoy the great taste of bacardi limone. However, as soon as more individuals show up I was introduced to yet another miracle devised by the makers of Bacardi rum. This sweet nectar combined with goldslager and the wonderful essence of jagermeister create something so magical and so epic that it was hard to imagine that the combining of 75%, 40%, and 35% alcohols would be such a delish delight. 5 shots later we concluded the flavour of this delicacy was that of the cinnamon variety. With the flavour of cinnamon hearts in my mouth I quickly prepped for my hull experience by pouring an additional two shots into a little bottle and adding this to my pocket. After taking some more rum and coke it was time to go on the bus, a quick 3 dollar exchange and a shaky walk to the back and we were off.

Now for some odd reason I ended up talking to a rather cheery Ottawa U student and he was also first year, the details are a bit fuzzy (as are most of my experiences with Ben) but I had made a new friend. We had somehow managed to do a transfer. This is where the details of the the remainder of the ride seemed to have slipped my mind. I recall meeting up with some friends. talking to some more strangers and we were in hull!

There was a mad dash to the 2 clubs, much of the bus was filled with individuals who had the same idea of fun we had. The line up was steadily increasing and took a while to get in. As you all know the bouncers ask for id and do a quick frisk. Now the id wasn't a problem, what was a problem was the fact that I still had the sample bottle full of the sweet cinnamon nectar. Bouncer says, "Whats in the pockets?"I pull out wallet, some change, phone and the the bottle laughing and saying, "Just some cough medicine, want some?". He laughs and waves me through. I'm not the one to argue so in I went. Now even though I was in about the middle of the line I ended up near the front. I realized why this happened. Everyone was checking in their coats and paying cover. I did neither, for I had no coat and apparently no appreciation for paying entry fees.

The rest of the evening involved a lot of dancing, laughing and yelling because its impossible to talk in a club. All in all it was a great evening.

That was Bentons night out.

On Heating a Liquid

So It has been a while and I know I was supposed to post a two part blog, but never got around to it. Sorry about that :P. What I will do however is teach you what I have learned in engineering and how I have applied it to real life situations.

So I have recently learned how to preheat liquid without causing it to reach its smoking point or make a smell. The result is very effective and actually not that hard to do.

Materials:

2 Empty and Cleaned Spaghetti Sauce Jar

1 Clementine, Orange, or possibly Tangerine

1 Aluminum, Steal, or Cast-Iron pot

1 Knife

1 Strainer

Directions:

Take the Jar Lid and puncture three holes using your knife. They should be evenly placed. Make sure to puncture from the bottom of the lid out wards.

Next step is to peal your citrus fruit and then possibly consume it. Take the peal pieces and press them into the extrusion from the puncture marks on the top of the lid. Because the citrus peel is porous it will allow hot air to escape and at the same time act very much like a filter.

Now you need to pour the desired amount of liquid and flavoring into the jar and seal it enough that air is not going to directly escape out the sides.

Place the jar in the pot and fill the pot with water such that one third of the jar is submerged. Turn the burner on and allow for the pot to come to a simmer. If you can, increase the heat but do not allow the liquid to begin to boil. Small bubbles are ok.

Let the pot boil for 7 to 24 hours. Refill water as needed.

When done empty the contents of the jar into a strainer and allow the liquid to strain. When you have fully strained the liquid pour it into the second jar or second container and allow to chill for at least half an hour.

At this point you will have some great liquid with endless possibilities and remember to always have the proper safety equipment.

Yours Truly,

Ben