well well well. time does fly.

Oh! Hello There. It is January 09, 2015 as I write this.... Hokey Doodle how far we've come. I think an entire year has past since the last post here.................... I like to think I have come a long way in the 5 years since I thought studying 'the modern and ancient history of the Who people' was where my future would lie. If nothing else, this post will serve as a reminder that you can't plan life. Let me set the stage: It's late, I feel like writing something, and while listening to PP&M's Marvellous Toy I thought of this dusty, old blog. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLYefZkOMB0 I am probably 7 tallboy PBR's deep, sitting at my 100$ IMac, chain smoking. Erik, Richard and Dane are in the living room just outside my bedroom door. I think they're playing NHL 2013, or 'Chell' as they like to call it. I'm just going to throw down what the past year was for me. In hindsight, it looks like a defining year for Grant. That does not necessarily mean it was an enjoyable year. It's the year my life came to a slamming halt. A sort of 'wake up call' if you will. Although I hate that colloquialism. There is so much shit, basically all of the shit, that no one teaches or tells you. Shit everyone just has to figure out on their own time. Between their vanilla latte's and Instagramming. I moved back to Iroquois after 4 years giving it my best in Vancouver. I still don't know my exact reasons for leaving the city. March 2014 was the crossroads where all my life struggles came to meet each other. It was not a pleasant gathering. Depression resented the success of others, anxiety saw that as a justification of my misgivings, my dreams met reality then ran in fear, and my fears just stood there tall and proud. Like a total jackass. I left a wicked awesome girl, and some super cool friends in Vancouver. Hightailing it to rural Ontario. The Farm solves all, right? My heart, late to the party, knew that to be a lie. In December 2014, I woke up and saw the world, finally, through fresh eyes. Young eyes. I saw the asshat I was to some, and the person I was trying to be. The person I absolutely am not. Without going in tooooo much boring detail, I'll say that I definatley came out of 2014 a different person than the guy who welcomed it. 2014 saw Grant study, and take up meditation. He learned a lot about love, romantic and otherwise. Became an avid listener of Eckhart Tolle and Alan Watts. I Read books. He gave up trying to please people. that'll never fucking work. a new perspective on booze and drugs. loved himself. He's not embarrassed of being him anymore. What would I like for 2015? - take up swing dancing classes - Guitar lessons. - Yoga When I write again in a year, we'll see where that list is at.... I hope you all had a wonderful 2014. Each one of you were important people in my life, and I have nothing but love and appreciation for each of you. Last I've heard from each of you Gators, and my understanding of where you're at: Ryan? not a dentist. Electrician!!!1!! ..... I'd still let you play with my teeth anyday ;) Still old Ryan in my minds eye, and it makes me smile. Kyle? doing something design related in Ottawa..... Being Himself. Ben? Doing his best to run a fucking company. Erik? Selling kitchen wares. My roomate which is wild, can't say I saw that coming. Richard? being richard. doing richard stuff. baking timbits. writing. also my roommate..... crazay Tyler? doing exactly what he planned. Much love. this post might read as conceited or egotistical...but whatever. It's getting posted without a second glance.