Arn't you glad i didn't say banana?

The following is an exact dictation of Kyle and grants conversation upon falling asleep on the eve of grants departure, twenty ten.

Hello electric online community,
G-rant and K-dawg here. Three twenty one in the AM. The living room of an apartement on the tenth floor of a highrise apartement building in the nations capital, overlooking the magestic hogs-back falls and a parking lot, where this chick got raped once. What does AM mean? It astounds me that in all of my years on this planet i have never attained that peice of vital information. Also PM. We beleive it comes from the latin: ano-moulatina, which of cource is latin for, that which dances before the high sun. PM, on the other hand means pridoidi mastronom. Which we beleive is so common that we wont go into the patrionising details here. But it must be understood that the calling of the pigroast as the sun sets it a soothing though as grant sets into his comfy rest. When i was a young warthog, stephen fry would lull me to sleep with his gentle musings on themeaning of life and pleasent conversation over an hour or so of tea. Grant wishes to express that if an hour of tea with stehen fry waere to be attained that he would die, implod eif you will, of pure glee. Yipee. Yipee Kayay, mother effer. Wheater r not that is appropriate language is debatable. Kyle remembers he first time he hung out wiht grant. It was an verage lunch time, at some point during in grade eleven it was common for kyle, grant , chris and noah to expedite into the north end of brockville to feast on fast food. On this particular occasion, chris and noah were not available for whatever reason. Thus kyle and grant, two, not strangers but at this point mild aquaintences, set off to mcdonalds, kyle had never before experienced a big mac, beofer. Grant took it upon himself to take kyles big mac virginity. I beleive at the time he was working at shoppers or somehting, and thus had more expendible income that kyle. Grant, being the fine young civilian he was treated kyle to a big mac, and kyle beleive that that is the most money grant has ever spent on him. Kyle was wary that the lunch period spent alone with grant would be akward, as was common with his social endevours, but grant and kyle got on like a house on fire, and it was a loverly time. It was not untill scout was introduced into the equation that the friendship truely flourished, grant beleives that he was exploited for his posesion of a vehicle. Wheather or not this is true is beyond the point, grant has become more than the odd looking, folksy owner of a vehicle. the rides in that car have been some of the best times in kyles life, and will honestly and thuroughly miss them. We wish you all the best is vancouver grant, and it would be alot easier to be more solem about this if you werent sitting next to me, layin out beats, going: "wakka wakka" "k-y-l-e his name is kyle" and telling "arn't you glad i didnt say banana" jokes. Well, we are off to google stephen fry bedtime stories, goodevening. Grant is sends his goodwishes, this is kyle signing off.

Stabbing Monkeys

Hey all

so this was sent to me by my cousin chris and i thought it was pretty freakin hilarious and worth y to show to all of you. The embeded thing on youtube is messed up right now so im just going to post the link, i'll fix it later when you tube gets their act together and quits fuckin around with their format.

Later Alligators

A Tragic Tale

In an attempt to conserve funds, and quell my midnight peckishness without the use of pizza pizza, of which i have eaten so much of these past eight months that i fear i will never be satisfied by it again, i hopped on the Ol'Otrain and scurried out into the world to buy bread. Upon my return, i plopped my still warm, freshly baked bread on top of my minifridge, which serves as my kitchen workspace of sorts in my ever so humble abode. I opened my jam, and peanut butter which were provided to me by my dear mother, and prepared to dig in to a well deserved and simple meal. Now i am rather particular about my bread, only the freshest will do, but when consuming entire loaves before they dry, and crispen is rather inconvenient and unpleasant. I do find though, that the bakery fresh style ages quite well, much better than the bagged, commercial and, this is the crucial part, sliced wonder bread does. In my small residence hovel i am not very well equipped, and i found myself with all of the means and dressings of a fantastic afternoon snack, and.... alas... no tool with which to slice my bread. In desperation i tried the butter knife, and the results of that endeavor are evident in the above photo. And so goes the tragic, and ironic tale, of the ghetto-est peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the world.

Mind Blowing Math

And who says math is boring? Aparantly it can be used to predict the olympics!

Grants Oscar Predictions

I'm very excited for tonight :)

Writing (Original Screenplay) - A Serious Man

Writing (Adapted Screenplay) - An Education,

Visual Effects - Avatar

Sound Mixing - Transformers

Sound Editing - Star Trek

Short Film (live) - Didn't see any of them :(

Short Film (animated) - Didn't see any of them :(

Music (Original Score) - Something from the princess and the frog

Original Score - I hope for Fantastic Mr. Fox

Editing - i hope for District 9

Directing - Kathryn Bigelow - The Hurt Locker

Cinematography - Inglorious Basterds

Art Direction - Avatar

Supporting Actress - Mo'Nique - although Anna Kendrick deserves it too

Leading Actress - Sandra Bullock

Supporting Actor - I hope for Christopher Waltz

Leading Actor - Jeff Bridges

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND best picture - i would die if District 9 or UP won (my 2009 favourites) :) but imma guess Avatar will take it, even though i don't think it deserves it.

Oscar Predictions

Hey All

So I know all of you are as excited as I am about the Oscars tomorrow night! Here's my predictions on who's gonna win most of the awards(which isn't to be confused with who I think should actually win, cause if I had it my way Inglourious Basterds would sweep at least half the awards, with Avatar, Star Trek and District 9 cleaning up the rest):

Best Documentary - The Cove

This is hands down one of the most exciting documentaries I’ve ever seen. It's honestly like combining "Disney's Earth" with "James Bond". It exposes the world’s worst dolphin massacres, which takes place annually in Japan. Not only do the makers of this film document what’s going on, they try tirelessly, with some of the most innovative methods I’ve ever seen in a documentary, to expose this travesty to the general public, which is being kept secret by the Japanese government. It’s a gripping and engrossing film, and I’m positive that the academy will feel the same way as I do about it.

Best Original Score – Sherlock Holmes

Not only do I love this movie (I’ve watched it about a dozen times already) I also love the music. It’s a pretty odd and wonderful score that represents Holmes’ eccentricity and brilliance. It was written by Hans Zimmer, who has done way too many movie scores to mention, and has won a couple of Grammy’s, Golden Globes, and Oscars.

Best Art Direction & Best Visual Effects – Avatar

I really don’t think there will be any competition for this one. I mean the whole movie is like one giant animated piece of art. I imagine James Cameron hired an army of conceptual artists to create all of the creatures, plants, and settings in this movie. And for visual effects, do I really need to say anything? I didn’t think so.

Best Sound Editing & Best Sound Mixing – Star Trek

This award almost always goes to Sci-Fi movies because of the skill it takes to create and edit sounds for creatures and machines that don’t even exist. Although Avatar provides a bit of competition I think that the academy will recognize that Star Trek’s sound was just better and more abundant.

Best Film Editing & Best Cinematography – The Hurt Locker

Here’s where it gets into more of who I think the academy will pick rather than who I feel should win. Personally I would give editing award to District 9 and the cinematography award to Inglourious Basterds, but I have a feeling that since The Hurt Locker is going to get knocked out the top two awards, it’s going to pick up some of the smaller technical awards like these two.

Best Animated Feature – Up

Now I haven’t actually seen this movie yet, but I know it’s been getting amazing reviews, and almost everyone I’ve talked to said it was great. It’s also nominated in the Best Picture category, where it stands absolutely no chance, but I think it will easily win this category.

Best Adapted Screen Play – Up In The Air

Again here’s another one that I would not necessarily pick, but is most likely a favourite among academy members. I would probably have gone for District 9, but realistically it’s going to go to Up In The Air. It actually is a decent script, and I was impressed with the whole movie, until the very end. I personally didn’t care for the end, because it kind of left everything, for lack of a better phrase, up in the air. I mean it just ends with him in the airport staring at departure and arrival times, and he’s pretty much back to where he started at the begging of the movie. I think the academy will overlook this bad ending though, as they seem to like that kind of garbage.

Best Original Screenplay – Inglourious Basterds

I will be very surprised if Inglourious Basterds does not win this award. I mean when was the last time you saw a world war to movie where Hitler not only died, but got an entire clip of a Tommy gun in the face, and then was blown up. This movie screams originality and excellence, and since I don’t think this movie will win best picture, nor will Quentin Tarantino win best director, I think they will at least give the film the honour of this award.

Best Supporting Actress – Mo’Nique for Precious

A movie about fat black woman struggling with life really did not catch my interest, so I really didn’t care to see this movie, but Mo’Nique has been getting so much attention over this movie that she’s almost guaranteed to win. Again, I would have made a different choice, probably leaning towards either Anna Kendrick or Vera Ferminga both from Up In The Air, or even Maggie Gylenhol for Crazy Heart.

Best Supporting Actor – Christoph Waltz for Inglourious Basterds

This is defiantly mine, and many critics, favourite performance from the entire year. Waltz owns this role, and not only gets under the skin of many of the characters in this film, but also gets under the audiences skin with his masterful performance as the Jew Hunter. He is defiantly a favourite to win this role, and I really don’t see anyone else in this category taking it from him.

Best Actress – Meryl Streep for Julie & Julia

I haven’t seen this movie, nor do I really care to, and I’m not much of a Meryl Streep fan, but many of the academy members are. I personally would have picked Sandra Bullock for the Blind Side, which i found to be an incredibly emotionally uplifting movie, and one of the best performances of Bullocks career. However, since this is Meryl Streep’s 16th nomination, and she hasn’t won an academy award since like 1982, I'm betting the academy will likely wish to honour her at least one more time. Since Bullock is younger, she will more than likely have another chance to win this down the road.

Best Actor – Jeff Bridges for Crazy Heart

I finally watched this movie, and was pleasantly blown away with how much I liked it. Everyone is saying that Crazy Heart is this year’s “The Wrestler” which I think is almost a put down, since Crazy heart is so much better. Jeff Bridges gives the best and most believable performance of his entire career. It’s almost like this role was written specifically for him, because in my mind he really is Bad Blake, and I could totally see him sitting in some old country bar, belting great old country classics.

Best Director & Best Picture – James Cameron & Avatar

These two awards almost always go hand in hand, and I don’t think this year will be any exception. I do feel that this film has gotten far more hype than it deserves, and really should not be a $2.5 billion dollar grossing film, but all of the hype aside it really is a great film. It invokes all of the right emotions, and has a perfect balance of action, story, and special effects. The story might not be 100% original, however it is a great story, and is defiantly one that is culturally relevant at the moment. James Cameron devoted almost ten years of his life to this film, including creating the 3D cameras used to film the movie, which I, and I think the academy will agree, defiantly deserves the award of Best Director, and ultimately best picture.

Let me know what your guys predictions and personal picks are!

Later Alligators

A Bearded Chick