oct 31

its not halloween without the mash!

halloween

PS today is all hallows eve. so happy that day

Cick or Treat

On google it says Click or treat, hence the name, instead of Trick or Treatl for those who dont get it. Ben, doesnt understand pop culture colokuilisms

Kyle said that we were to post drunkis h texts. i went to my neighbours tonight unexpectadly after studying in the library and got carried a way.

i beat rachels ass in wii boxing. awesome.. well yuou guys are awesome and i looki forward to coming home to have fun night with you.

bye for now.

your friendly neighbourhood Grantman

Funny Shit

grant. dont watch this in the library.

ohhhhh ryan LAWL

i am in ryan and aarons living room rihgt now. i am drunk but not as ryan/benton/ben/the monster ryan has become. right now he is telling me to "just do it kyle!" but he will not elaborate on what "it" is. He likes to dance and sing, and whistle MGMT songs that he only know the corus to. He is now swithcing between sitting in a chair, hands behind his head, crotch in hair, humping nothing, singing BAM BAM..... wood just snapped, the amazingly comfortable ikea chair is dead. he likes to row across the room in the chair too. ONLY SQUARES SHOWER EVERYDAY!! but the my all time favourite quote of the night..... wait for it...... barney is not really all that funny but it kinda works for this........ "FUCK THE SHUT UP!!!!!"

"seriously holly, your fine, did you want to sleep in the bathroom? kyle shut up!"

"FUck you kyle!" "just go!" "get out"

Holly says that if she could poke out her eyeballs she could, she is overreacting...

AND SO CONCLUDES the first drunk post of GWA i promise not to edit this or delete it as long as before the end of the year everyone else involved in this grand escapade agrees to also get smashed and post jibberish. im looking at you grant!

EDIT:
"what time do you have class tomoro ryan?"
"ohhh abot half time"

While singing "Afternoon delight"
"sucking my cock int he light of day"
"Nine billion flyer fies, de de delah de deh la dle da ... mumble mummble, probably say goodbye *then ryan gives me the finger* dont say it.... im sorry, flive milion fire flies hmmmmmh mmmm hmmmm do do do dooo do doooo, im sorry *somethign abotu angela*"

k, i feal like an asswhole now for posting this. fuck ryan hes from tincap! aarons the good shit... ryans words not mine.

Right Round Baby! Right Round!

This is why i dont like pop music these days. Cause nothing is ORIGINAL!!!!!
This video however is somthing else. And its a kick ass song!

its heeeere

I am writing to let you know that the swine flu has arrived at mcmaster campus. today i saw two infected persons. both asian (hmmmmmmm)

also, deep down inside i have a little hope that the virus mutates and turns people into crazy swine zombies. cuz that'd be coo

signing off now

grant

Michael Clayton

Im not sure exactly who all was involved in this tale, but i remeber the events pretty clearly. It was a tuesday night and a group of us headed over to the theatre in brockville to see 30 days of night. Now none of us were 18, but we had a plan. Bens mom came with us. However the briliant plan quickly fell to pieces when we were informed that she had to actually acompany us into the movie. Not wanting to just give up and go home, we decided to see the only other movie playing that sparked our interest. Michael Clayton. At the time I will admit this is the worst movie i had ever seen. Nothing made sense. It was so bad that Ben left half way through. The rest of us left the movie theatre with an expression of wtf on our faces.

Well aprently, since when we watched the movie and now, i have obtained some kind of devine enlightenment. While browsing for a good movie to download, I came across Michael Clayton, and decided that i was going to watch this movie and by-god understand it if it was the death of me. It was not the death of me. I watched it yesterday, and ............. I actually understood it! And the even crazier thing is..........I kinda liked it. There was somepointless stuff that could have been left out, but besides that the story was interesting, the editing was suspencful, and the acting by george clooney was excellent. I dont know whats brought such a change over me, but for those of you that watched it and hated it, watch it again, trust me. You might just change your mind.

Later Alligators

Dopleganger

Apparently Aaron has a long lost twin brother! Amirite?

The End of the Internet

So about a few months ago i started reading the internet. It's a rather long process as you can imagine due to the volume of websites. Well tonight i finnaly got to this page:

http://www.wwwdotcom.com/

Powerthirst!!! Made With Real Lightning!!!!!

Aaron's B-Day Song!

Best Feelings

There are some things in life that though are small in the grand scheme of things, still manage to bring you a wave of joy. I'v recently experienced two of these:

1. Finding money. This is possibly one of the best feelings in the world. Weather its money that you didnt know you had, lost in a pocket or a bag or your underwear droor, or money you find on the ground. I found a 10 dollar bill rolling across the grass at my XC meet in windsor, and let me tell you, nothing tastes better then McDonalds bought with someone elses money.

2. Realising that the assignment that you have been stressing and procrastinating over is not due for another week. This just happened to me tonight. I thought i had an essay due in my cousine and culture class tomorow, and iv been procrastinating starting it since yesterday. Finally tonite at about 8pm i opened my book, looked at my ruberic and realized its not due till the following tuesday. EXSTACY.

As iv learned from zombieland, you've got to enjoy the little things.

Later Alligators

Chain Reaction

You know when something sparks your curiosity, and this being a wondrous (-1point) modern world, you google it, only to find yourself looking at something completely different 20 mins later? The same thing happens with conversations. Well today I experienced and documented one of these winding paths of discovery.

-We started off talking about the new buildings under construction at Carleton.
-Then we found the website for the architects.
-We looked through the architects portfolio and found that they had design the Kuwait Embassy, which i had walked past the day before
-We talked about The Kuwait Embassy has a surprisingly prime spot in Ottawa
-And then how the Canadian Embassy has an insanely good spot in Washington
-And that the statue that is on the $20 bill is huge and in front of the canadian embassy
-Wikipedia says that that statue is also in the museum of civilization
-We browsed the Civilization website for a while before clicking on the IMAX link
-Then we discovered that STARTREK was playing in IMAX in 2 hours
-Then we watched STARTREK in IMAX
-Then I shat bricks

Transformers 2 is also playing in IMAX soon, I dont think i could handle that. I dont like it when my eyes bleed.

Giddy Like a School Girl

Gather round children, for oh what a tale i have to tell. I have been in Ottawa, a truly glamorous and star struck city, for little more than a month and a half now, and i have experienced my first minor canadian celebrity encounter.

Let me set the scene. I had just come from a wonderfully cultured evening at the Ottawa Animation Festival where i enjoyed An Evening with Don Hertzfeldt ( whose work can be experienced in all its mindnumbing glory here ) and 7 Reasons to Love Animation, which was so terrible, between 3 of us we could only remember 4 of them.

My companions and i were strolling along Sussex Drive when two men in tuxedos appeared down the street in front of us. The sharply dressed men were a strange sight upon the drug addled, homeless-person-strewn streets of ottawa, so we watched them as they clip-clopped past in their shiny leather shoes. I turned my head to watch them as they passed, and after they had retreated from sight i turned my head forward again, as is done to watch were one is going when one is walking, and as i turned i first saw that there were more tuxedo clad men, then i noticed that one of them was fairly short, and he had curly black hair, and then i realized that i was standing not 1 meter from Rick Mercer.

I'll let that sink in..........









Now then. I have nothing but respect for the man, but when he looked at me and my school chum, and he did make direct eye contact with each of us, i promise, he seemed to have a disgruntled look of disgust on his face. I really hope it was just because he was wearing a tux, and people in tuxes just naturally look pompous, or that he had just smelt something unpleasant, but his brow was furrowed and his nosed was raised just enough to deepen the lines that ran from his nostrils to the corners of his mouth. Im sure he knew we knew who he was, and he almost seemed disappointed that he had been recognized, as if he were some plagued and tormented celebrity who had gone through a whole night out in the world without being noticed before we came along.

I think everyone near or dear to us was notified via twitter or text before he was out of sight. The next 10 minutes was spent reminiscing about that time we walked past Rick Mercer, and trying to justify the strange look he gave us.

And thus, was the most adrenaline filled 30 seconds of my week.

Its a Pith Helmet!!!!

ho hum

hi (is it proper for me to start by saying hi???)

so some updates from me life so far. first, and most tragic. today george and i got stuck in an elevator for approximately one complete minute (i actually had to press the alarm button. very exhilerating)
secondly. today i had 2 midterms. but thats boring shit so thats all the time school gets in this post.
thirdly. i need to film some shit, and i hope Ian is gettin the publicity he deserves.
fourthly. hmmmmmmm
fifthly. i would like to advize(?) all that dark friction season is creepin up on us, so get out those spiked shoes, and road salt.
sixthly. last friday a guy on campus approached me and asked me "what my faith meant to me?" and he handed me a very handy pamphlet about being a good God person. this book is complete with diagrams showing the place of humans in relation to God(people are on earth, God is in the sky btw), as well as who should sit on the chair in the circle (God should) if i could i would upload these diagrams i would. they are very handy. i realize that spreading the word is not only an art form but also a science. theres also a great drawing of a plane that serves no purpose.
seventhly. i hope everyone is doing well in their classes and not getting too wild

Crazy Nutso

I am sitting in Graphic Design, waiting for Gomez to came around and mark my stuff. I missed my bus this morning and had to take a train, and then managed to get on an express bus without paying. It was a rush. Did you know that the Hangover is still playing in theaters? Well it is, and I saw it. It's still funny, but I missed the car-door-in-baby's-face bit, I was disappointed. I have nothing interesting to say so here is this:


EMBED-Drunkest Guy Ever Goes for More Beer - Watch more free videos

1000 Islands Mall

I was in the 1000 Islands Mall today, it was strange, i didnt realize how many memories i have in that barren beige building. There are now bell, rogers, and virgin mobile booths in the mall. Im taking bets on when they will go out of business, ive got 20 bone on mid january.

Thanksgiving Poem

The leaves begin to fall, and the days are getting shorter.
The temperature is colder, shrinking parts below the border.
The air is very crisp, frosting everything that’s living.
And all these signs, they mean one thing, it has to be Thanksgiving.
Come young come old, come far and wide, come every family member.
Come tall come short, come thin come fat, come every race and gender.
We’ll have a feast to celebrate the things that we are thankful for.
We’ll eat so much, we’ll get so drunk, we won’t be leaving through the door.
Pass the buns and pass the bread, and pass the mashed potatoes.
Pass the garden salad please, the one with the tomatoes.
Have some wine, and have some beer, we all shall give our toasts
And then tuck in and grab a fork and dig into the roasts.
There’s turkey, ham, and duck, and veal, they all are cooked just right.
We’ll fill our faces once or twice, then sleep right through the night.
The meal is done, but the drinks continue, everyone is in good cheer.
Another toast to health and wellness, everyone drink up their beer.
At twelve o’clock the drink kicks in, and the light weights drop like flies.
The 16 year old who snuck some vodka passes out and nearly dies.
Everybody heads for bead, the night is finally over.
And in the morning they awake, everyone hung-over.
Everybody waves goodbye, and thinks inside their head,
I’ll never drink that much again, I’ll stick to apple juice instead.
But two months later everybody’s sitting in the den.
It’s Christmas time, there’s food and drink, and the whole things starts again.

Douchbag of the Week

3:36 pm October 8th 2009
Bayview Otrain Station, Ottawa Ontario.

Girl: OMG Taylor Swift is coming to Ottawa!
Guy wearing white sunglasses, faux hawk & neon coloured skate shoes: Are you serious? I HAS to be there!

...

HAS TO!

edit: he was wearing an Ottawa U jacket, so I wasn't that surprised.

Unorganized, Ill Prepared, Last minute

It has long been a tradition for this group to talk a lot about events and when it comes to the follow through or crunch time we always have a tendancy to leave things to the last minute. Many a time have we found ourselves on the day of what ever festivities not knowing all the details of the events. However thankgiving being a holiday based on traditions, I dont think it would be right to break any habits of unorganization.
With that being said it has been set upon me by one very persuasive individual who exhibits chivalrous behaviour in such a manor that it would be a crime to not fulfill his request. This individual, and I quote, said:

"i bequeath you galiant and kind sir, with the noble task. No stronger yet gentler hands could i imagine, and none less would i entrust this infant gift. The valour and husbandry of which glows softly like the porcelin moonlight of the innocent foolery, fooled upon by the forlorn scallywags we once were, and have now come to celebrate in this most melancholy of seasons."

As such I regret to inform you all that the party will be at 6 or around that time at my place, please take this notice and respond about any schedule conflicts.

i live there

Ho-ly shmokes. That is where i live kyle. cool. that was a pretty intense vid.

p.s i now kind of want to see zombieland

A True Life Changing Experience! (Rocket Powered Lincoln Continental)

no words...

Life Changing Experience

Please read and complete the following instructions to emerse yourself in a life changing experience.

Step 1: Obtain a method of transportation (bike, bus, car, truck, van, trycicle ect)
Step 2: Make your way to the nearst movie cinema
Step 3: Purchase a ticket to ZOMBIELAND
Step 4: Enter the designated theatre room, buckle your seatbelts, cross your heart, make sure you are firmly sitting down, and watch the movie that appears on the screen

Your mind has now been blown, thus causeing a life changing experience.
Thank you for your cooperation.

DISCLAIMER - Richard is not responsible for any ill effects that may occur during the following of the above steps, such as extreme laughter resulting in a hurnia, or being beaten up by a 6 year old girl for trying to steal her trycicle. These steps are to be followed at the descretion of the reader, however it should be duely noted that any ill effects that occur during the following of above steps will most certainly be worth the mind blowing and life changing experience.

Nut up or Shut up.

God Damn Foreigners!

Aaron and I were in a pet store recently. We had a conversation that went like this:

Aaron: Why are those birds so expensive? Look.
Kyle: 'Cause they're the exotic ones, they're foreign.
Aaron: Your moms foreign.
Kyle: .... My mom is foreign.
Laughter ensued.

Word of the Week # 2

its officially monday now so here is the second installment

pants noun, pants - the, verb
a person place or thing that exceeds in quality, value, or creativity. Used interchangeably with "the shit" or "jokes".

eg:
noun - How I met your Mother is the fucking pants!
verb - Hey, remember that time "bryan" projectile vomited all over grants bathroom?
Ya! That was pretty pants!

Disclaimer - some names or events in this post have been changed to protect the identity of the persons involved. Your welcome ryan.

Joke Guidlines con't con't

8. In todays day in age, prolonging the joke way past its funny period returns the joke to its funny period again (ie. family guy, peter's hurt leg) just make sure you dont prolong a joke, and then prolong it again because that is to far. (ie another post on this topic after this one)

Joke Guidelines con't

Number 6 - it should be noted that jab-jokes are funniest when the jabbee is present.

eg: grants post will be much funnier if ben reads it.

Number 7 - joke trains can only go on for so long. When a number of people are making consecutive jokes about a common subject, the hilarity of the jokes increases with the number of jokes for only a short while. There is a brief window when a joke becomes a legend (ie:grants nose, bens hair) before the joke is overdone (ie: this post)

Joke Guidelines

Number 3 - When a person asks a question joke (i.e why did the chicken cross the road?), even if one knows the answer, do not say it, for others may not, and if you say the answer the Joker will feel like a bag of shit, and you will look like a Mr. Know-it-all p.s the answer is - to get to the other side.lol.

Number 4 - if it was a tale joke , and you've heard it before, give the guy a courtesy laugh.

Number 5 - no matter what the occasion, if you are feeling glum, look at ben.

- this would be an example of a 'jab-joke' which is often said in desperation for a laugh, and is made at someones expense. my apologies ben, but its not like you read this blog anyways

The General Rules When it Comes to Laughing at a Joke

When you are with a group of friends and someone makes a joke there are a few guidlines one should follow. Its something that just has to be set in place so that no matter how crappy the joke may be at least the idividual had tried to get a laugh and should not be riduculed for the attempt. So rule number one, Always laugh but dont over do it. Youve broken this rule when you have added the phrase "O My God That was SOOOOOOOOO Funny...". Im not going to mention any names but there seems to be one repeated offender in our circles that has completely disregarded rule number one. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! Rule number two its ok to say that wasn't that funny as it helps the joker realize that they need to work on better content but don't make them feel bad.

Google LOL

When you type "i like" in google, this is what actually come up first in the list of suggested searches. Im not joking, try it.

hard at work

this is how we do it at mac.



-i dont know how to post a video likt kyle
-when you go to the page on youtube, on the right hand side there's a bar that says embed, copy the code in that bar and just paste it into your comment.

Tunnels

I have been to tim hortons, math, my media and design class, the food court, my math tutorial, and the cafeteria so far today, and i have not set a single foot outside. I love tunnels.

The Gonq, Seals, and FIRE!

It is freakin cold in ottawa, especially at 7:04 in the morning, which is when i have to catch my bus. I then sleep for a half hour, or watch the old people mutter to themselves. The other day there was one man who became very agitated whenever the bus stopped moving. Im not sure where a probably-homeless guy needs to be so urgently on a thursday morning, but his distress lightened my ride a bit. I too, like grant, am a horrible person (but probably to a lesser extent, what with the not-so-mild racism and all).

There is this guy in my class, hes quite a strange kid. Hes very nice and everything, and hes actually really good with photoshop, but he will believe absolutely ANYTHING you tell him. Without question. Today at lunch in the extremely overpriced Gong caff, somebody made an arrested development reference about Busters hand being bit off by a seal. The rest of the conversation goes as follows:

Strange kid: that will never happen to me, i've never even seen a seal in real life.
Cool chick: well you're never completely safe, sometimes they can swim up your drain and bite off your hand in your bathtub.
Strange kid: LIKE OMG! THATS INSANE! OMG IM ONLY TAKING SHOWERS NOW!
*end scene*

I know that sounds made up, but i promise you, THAT, ACTUALLY, HAPPENED. I was going to say something about "no wait, its not seal, shes thinking of walruses" but i was laughing too hard.

Well i think ive rambled on enough... for anyone who reads my facebook status, im trying to figure out how to get an artificial fireplace in my room, ill keep you updated on how that goes. but expect a christmas card with a picture of me and a ferret in silk pajamas (the ferret not me) sitting infront of a roaring hearth.

Word of the Week # 2

its officially monday now so here is the second installment

pants noun, pants - the, verb
a person place or thing that exceeds in quality, value, or creativity. Used interchangeably with "the shit" or "jokes".

eg:
noun - How I met your Mother is the fucking pants!
verb - Hey, remember that time "bryan" projectile vomited all over grants bathroom?
Ya! That was pretty pants!

Disclaimer - some names or events in this post have been changed to protect the identity of the persons involved. Your welcome ryan.

TITLE

I have yet to read where the wild things are, i should do it soon. i have nothing against the franchise, i just dont understand why the wild things must be so damn creepy in the new movie.

*sigh*

i've honestly been looking at this page for 10 minutes, with nothig to write. and so i guess this is it.

that is all....